16 TheLinguistFEBRUARY/MARCH www.iol.org.ukHow Meghan Purvisused intermediary translationsto create a prizewinning modern version of 'Beowulf'The Collar, which won the 2011 TimesStephen Spender Prize for literary translation,is an excerpt from my translation of Beowulf.One of my main interests is how an audiencewould have originally related to Beowulfas apoem, and I wanted to create a similarrelationship between my translation and itsreaders. Because of this, I decided quite earlyon to present my translation in a way thatwould be recognisable to a modern readeras poetry, using a variety of modern formsand meters, rather than preserving the formof the source text. To reflect the possibility that the original texthad multiple authors, I translated it as discretepoems that, read as a collection, told theentire story of Beowulf. An unexpected aspectof the translating process was how muchtrouble I had in distancing myself from thesource text. I expected to begin producingtranslation drafts that would read, if anything,as too explicitly contemporary. Surprisingly,working directly from the source text resultedin translations that struggled to break free oftheir Old English roots. It soon became clearthat the process of transforming the sourcetext (with frequent checks to dictionaries andgrammars) into a modern structure was solaborious that it halted any artistic flow, andthat the nature of verifying words andrelationships between words meant that mytranslation echoed the source text very literally. I realised that a certain level of distancefrom the source text was essential in order toachieve the desired effect. My solution was tocreate an initial, personal translation, whichpreserved the aspects of the source text I wasinterested in speaking to, but in which artisticchoices were not the primary focus. I thenlooked over that midpoint translation in orderto decide which portions to split off intodiscrete poems, and from there I decidedwhether to use forms or meters in each ofthose individual poems. While that sequenceadded an extra step to the writing process, itwas about adding knowledge rather thanabout altering the process. With a version once removed from theoriginal, which nevertheless preserved criticalelements of its ancient context, the translatingand editing processes became much moreabout choosing between options than astruggle between what I wanted to do andwhat I felt the source text pointed me towards.That struggle, of course, was entirely internal (I might have felt that the source text wantedme to do something but it was really a choice I was making), but creating this distanceallowed me to recognise the choices I wasmaking as entirely my own.Negotiating GrendelWorking directly fromthe source text resultedin translations thatstruggled to break freeof their roots

FEBRUARY/MARCHTheLinguist17An example of this technique is Unferth'sintroduction to the poem. He doesn't likeBeowulf and expresses that dislike bycommenting on an earlier exploit of which he disapproves:Hunferð maþelodeEcgláfes bearn þe æt fótum sætfréan Scyldingaonband beadurúne-wæs him Béowulfes síðmódges merefaranmicel æfþunca forþon þe hé ne úþeþæt aénig óðer man aéfre maérða þon mámiddangeardes 'Eart þú sé Béowulfsé þe wið Brecan wunneon sídne saéymb sund flite?. geofon ýþum wéol wintrys wylmgit on wæteres aéht seofon niht swunconhé þé æt sunde oferflát hæfde máre mægen.Þá hine on morgentíd on Heaþo-Raémesholm up ætbærðonon hé gesóhteswaésne éðel, léof his léodum,lond Brondinga freoðoburh fægereþaér hé folc áhte burh ond béagasbéot eal wið þé sunu Béanstánessóðe gelaéste. Ðonne wéne ic tó þéwyrsan geþingea ðéah þú heaðoraésagehwaér dohtegrimre gúðegif þú Grendles dearst nihtlongne fyrstnéän bídan.'Lines 499-528My initial, rough translation is much moreliteral than my final draft, but it does changethe line-breaks of the poem slightly:Unferth spoke, Ecglaf's sonsat at the feet of the lord of the Scyldings,let loose his hostile hidden thoughts.He was vexed by Beowulf's bravery,since he didn't want any other man underheavento have more glory than himself.'Are you the Beowulf who struggled with Breca,competing in swimming the wide sea,trying the water on a boast and risking your lives?Vol/51 No/1 2012FEATURES. The deep waves surged, winter's whelm;you both toiled seven nights in its power;he beat you at swimming, was the stronger man;He washed up in the morning tideon the land of the Heatho-Rams,made his way back to the Bronding people.He truly carried out his boast.Therefore I expect the worst of you,no matter what other outcomes were good,if you dare to wait the night for Grendel.This draft uses awkward syntax and oftenantiquated language, but the sense of thissection, as well as the movement from imageto image, was clarified for me to redraft. Fromthis draft I created my first 'official' translation:Unferth, Ecglaf's son, sat at Hrothgar's feet.He wasn't impressedby Beowulf, because no one was impressedby him. "Are you the Beowulfwho fought with Breca in a swimmingcompetition, who risked your livesand your people's futures on a boast?[.] splashing through winter's whelm likeyour personal bathtubfor seven long nights -not caring whathappened on land. I heard Breca beat you,that he alone made it back; you washed upsomewhere like the corpseof a sea-exhausted squid, like a child wavingfor the lifeguard.If you can't get the best of water" -hedrained his glass -"I fear Grendelmay be too high a proof for you, if you insiston waiting for him."Already, there are significant changes inboth form and language. The identity of theperson who washed up on the coast is altered:in the source text it is Breca who has 'washedup' in a foreign land, but in this translation it isBeowulf. It is a drastic change -and one thatcould be taken as a translating error -but I feltthat changing the marooned swimmer toBeowulf emphasised the fact that he lost thecontest, whereas the source text seemed tomuddy the metaphorical waters somewhat.On a more formal level, the lines havelengthened to a typical rhythm for my poetryand the language has changed drastically. Thisdraft is discernibly from a period in which I wasstill experimenting with very informal registers.It also elaborates on the scene within theworld of Beowulf: the source text describeswhere Unferth is sitting, but the newinterjection 'he drained his glass' reminds thereader that another person, who is telling astory, is being described. Subsequent editingtransformed this section to its final incarnation:Hey -aren't you the Beowulf who swamwith Breca,the two of you risking your lives and yourpeople's futureson a bet? .But you couldn't be held back, paddlingthrough winter's whelmfor seven nights, bravest and best leaders ofmen!I heard Breca beat you, that you washed upon the wrong coastlimp and near-lifeless, tossed with the rest ofthe refusethe sea tired of holding. If you can't evenbest water, (he drainshis glass) I fear you may find Grendel toohigh a proof.In this iteration,Unferth's descriptionhas disappearedentirely, and the poembegins in his voice.While the language ofthis version beginsquite informally with'Hey', the moreaggressively modernreference to abathtub in the earlierdraft has beendeleted. The stage-direction descriptionof 'he drains/his glass' in the last stanza,though, seems to me to do the same work asfar as drawing attention to a story being toldas the 'he drained his glass' in the earlier draft.The approach I used for this translation ishighly personal and influenced by my aims forthe project; if I were working on a translationinterested in producing a modern Englishversion of Anglo-Saxon poetic meter, thenworking directly from the source text mighthave been an advantage. I hope, however,that this insight into how my interests as atranslator affected my translating processreflects more generally the individuality ofeach translator and each translating project. Poetry translated from any language(classical or modern) into English can beentered in the annual Times StephenSpender Prize. Winners in threecategories (open, 18-and-under and 14-and-under)receive cash prizes andhave their work published in a booklet.The deadline for the 2012 prize is Friday 1 June. For further details or to download an entry form, visitwww.stephen-spender.org. It is a drastic change -and one that could betaken as an error -butthe source text seemedto muddy the metaphorHOW TO ENTERINTERPRETATIONSDetail from J R Skelton's 1908 illustration ofBeowulf fighting the dragon and (right) thefirst page of 'Beowulf' in 'Cotton Vitellius A xv'